My dearest Alan, i want to thank you for changing the path in my life, and also for making me realise how much i love acting, theatre and art. I go to theatre classes now.. i dream of getting a role soon.. i want one real bad. I have your diary, but i can’t bring myself to read it.. i think you wouldn’t like for your thoughts to be read by a person you never met, and i respect that. I even have my own personal diary, i wouldn’t like for my diary to be read by my friends or family nor random people. Oh and about the theatre again.. the people there are so so nice and kind, i love it there so so much. Some of my friends have gotten a role in a play, but they are much older than me, they are five years older, and I’m still eleven.. i even cry sometimes because of not having a role in a play. But I believe this year I will get one. Even if it’s a small one, I was still appreciate it a lot. I also remembered your lines in that french play that you did.. gosh i want a role soon. You make me believe that i am going to get one this year. I got a certificate from the teacher at the theatre, i love it soo much, i hung it up on my wall, next to your drawings that I made, and your Snape mini figures, and I’ve also got a statue of Apolo.. because I was named after him, and I think it’s really beautiful that I was named after him, because he is a God of the Sun and creativity, and I can draw.. also sing. And I think it’s very beautiful. I’ve got a lot of drawings of you. I can only draw you now. I’ve got a whole book dedicated for you, in that book I draw pictures of you. And on that wall I have a drawing of Mesmer, Brandon, Hans, and also O’Hara. Oh and i have your wand. You know what makes me sad?.. it’s that I have your eyes, and your hands. Our eyes are completely the same, whenever I look at a picture of our eyes together. I cry. It’s so beautiful that it makes me cry. I also look like you’re a little bit, your height, your kindness, and most of all.. your eyes. Imagine if I become an actor like you. After seventh grade I’m going to learn a graphic design.. or Russian and English. I’m still wondering between those two. But deeply I want to learn graphic design after seventh grade. One time when two of my friends were performing on stage for the first time, I think it was their first time but.. i’m not really sure. Anyhow. When they finished the performance, I was crying from happiness, I got this warm feeling, I was so happy for them. Gosh im crying again.. My hands were shaking, and I felt like I was burning up from happiness. Just imagine how I would feel when I get up on that stage. I would literally faint. I even cry at the thought of stepping on the stage. I just imagine the applause, the smiles, the hugs after the performance, and the flowers for a present. I bet it’s going to feel unreal.. if I become an actor and, if I win any award. I will talk about you, how you inspired me, and how you made me believe in myself. Theatre also changed me, it’s boosted my confidence, we even sang songs in the centre of my city with my friends after theatre. Every time after theatre I go out with a group of friends, we are a group of four, three girls and one boy. And we have so much fun after theatre. The first time when I walked into the theatre room where my classes were. And after they told me to perform a small play on the small stage. The play was about a student that was nervous before a teacher asked her questions.. it was something like that. It was school related. Anyhow. And after the small play, they complimented me on my voice, because it sounded very theatre like, and at first they didn’t believe me that I was eleven. Because of my height, and my presence.. I really do look like a 15-year-old, and I like that. I like to look older, I even loved it. Anyhow. When I first got into the theatre room. I felt a little nervous, only a little. I remember it was February or March. And I sat a little at the back of the room, and they handed me pieces of paper with tongue twisters, we read tongue twisters every class because that’s how we improve our speech. Sometimes we say them really fast, sometimes we pronounce them slow. It depends on how the teacher wants us to read them. It’s actually a lot of fun. I even remembered some of them from reading them over and over. Every time I go to theatre, I’m very excited, I always think of you. I can’t wait to go to theatre again. I need to wait about five or six days for I to go to theatre again.. and also to school. Ugh I hate school. But sometimes it’s fun in school, because of my friends, because of some classes, some classes I love to attend, because the subject is fun. But in autumn school is the best, the weather is so lovely. And I just love the vibes. We were comfortable clothes, and outside it smells like leafs and rain, sometimes even like Jasmine for some reason. That was your favourite scent.. And again, thank you so so much Alan. I love you truly madly deeply, i will always remember you. And when i step on that stage for the first time i will think of you. Your legacy is so strong, you changed lives of many people, even paths in life. Including mine. with all my love, from polly